it’s hard to say just how crazy today was
on a scale of 1-10, i would rate it at a 9.5 - not a 10, because you can never really be sure of what else is out there, anyways, so there’s no need to go and say that this is the craziest of it
i spent a lot of time thinkin today (as i often do) about the ways in which my friends and my not-so-friends go about their daily lives. always movin from one activity to the next, almost as if they’re driven by some hive-mind-creature from an extraterrestrial land of old
and still they never stop to just enjoy one another
i am findin it harder & harder to believe in true love in this world of ant and termite men. we all must find our spot in the lines of people and pretend to find enjoyment in them instead of goin out and seekin that destined world that we all hope we will stumble upon one day - only to find that we are the little chosen guys who were meant to save the world all along
but we can rlly only go on hopin for so long, before we lose that hope like somebody loses change to a sewer kingdom, or the unfortunate miss-drop of a phone into a toilety doom. and then it’s up to us, the ones who do stop and think to save everybody from the file and rank terribleness that tricks everybody into livin dead
i just hope that we can find the strength to realize humanity’s true potential, or else we’ll eventually choose to not make love times and fall slowly into self induced extinction, like the pandas
we’re fightin so hard to keep the pandas, but what about ourselves
p.s. below is a picture of my friend drew holding some books and a globe
so i have a lot to be thankful for today
for instance, this time last year, i was hit right on the head with an orange departing somewhere from its tree-limb perch
i think i’ve wondered since that day why people don’t wear helmets all the time. they are particularly cumbersome and provide much more overall protection than our baby body carapace. so, why wouldn’t it be that people wear them all the time?
the omen of matted hair?
the sometimes annoying feeling of helmet straps upon your jaw and squeezing your ear like an eternal hug?
or maybe it’s just that everybody in the world has this growin feelin that they want to discard their safety, feel the wind on their jaws and un-hugged ears - to throw out caution’s unheeded word (“no, no, little sir, if you do that you will probly hurt or strain parts of your body”) and live like all of the giants and pig-devils before us.
if we would all just wear helmets every day, maybe we’d evolve and they would melt into our heads and our future babies will have super strong craniums that are impervious to the works of evil and general pain, and they will thank us, and call upon as the soft-headed ancestors of old that we would truly be
anyways, an orange didn’t fall on my head today, that’s sort of what i was getting at.
so i had to go to goodwill today to get some things that i needed, and that place was so so so packed - like a sardine home or somethin
it made me worried about my future, and the future of my friends, and the future of all of our kin. if it’s all sardine-home-esque now, what is it goin to be like in, say, 13-20 years?
even the sardines will be cryin
and i imagine they are typically pretty good about tight spaces, hence the saying about them (i suppose)
but i guess there are some good things to see from this. maybe we will all be more intimate and not as scared to talk to that one girl you love or that guy you think has a cool look about him. maybe we’ll all be able to love one another and stop hate because it would be harder to hate somebody who you have to be around all of the time
i mean, i guess it’s not something i can see happenin anyways. we’ll just keep expandin the earth like we always have been, grabbin comets and meteors as they come by and just stickin em onto our green planet - it’s hard to say when nobody can see the future anymore
or the past
i hope somebody will remind me that i have to return all of this stuff to goodwill by 3/1. they said they would charge my card if i don’t
that’d be bad
below is a pic of my cat
but the name is not important - or is it?
i sit here tonight, listening to this weird music that vaguely reminds me of a bad david bowie (in the kind of makes-me-uncomfortable sort of way) and i realize that our names are supremely important
so important that if you lost your name, you would lose your inherent being and be able to recreate yourself, much like benjamin kyle and all of the ben kyles before us
we’re tryin to get through life by makin a name for ourselves but we already have our name, don’t we? so shouldn’t we just be tryin to make our already formed name a more well known name?
or i guess if you’re not happy with your name, then you could always make a different name for yourself, which might be what the saying is referring to - but that’s a whole different legal process that i’m sure involves a good bit of paperwork and hardship that might be better off undone or not done at all
the music has changed to some crappy acoustic band, this indie pandora is just not very good i guess
they should make better music related sites